I was sitting at my computer, pressing at the buttons, and bringing up files. There was Galit’s file, Atara’s file, Ruchoma’s,, Nechama’s, we had gotten so many girls already! This was going great, great!
But we needed to capture Shevy, and soon….but, one little high schooler couldn’t do much? Right? Especially one like Shevy. I looked through her file. Personality: Shy, quiet, stiff, serious, cautious…na, we were fine.
Suddenly my phone began ringing, I picked it up.
“ST” said a rough voice at the end.
“M1, you…are calling me? Well I’m honored…” I said surprised, shocked, and ecstatic.
M1 was the top guy. Usually M5 checked in with me, M1 was…just. WOW!
“Well you have outscored many of your other counterparts, I must say. So many girls, so quickly…” he said. He chuckled in his deep voice.
“Well, the software does come in handy I admit….I haven’t seen it’s work since I don’t train, but it certainly helps.” I admitted
“But we need more girls!!!! We can’t be for much longer, is there anyway you could work faster? Soon you will meet up with MK, and his men, after they all are trained. Whom are we ready to send now?” asked M1
“Ruchoma isready.” Give Atara and Galit a week, then we can send them. Their software is still downloading” I explained.
“Amazing, amazing….” Said M1.
“I am really happy with your successes…you are going to get far, very far” said M1.
“These disgusting jews will soon be gone with…they will have converted, just like me” I said laughingly.
ST hung up with satisfaction, suddenly an old memory came up, Galit had reminded her of it…just the sabra name had brought back too much, she tried to push it away. She was different now, she told herself. Her parents certainly had forgotten about her, and that day where she ran away…
No, she must not think of it, but she was drawn into it, slowly.
She had not visited this memory in a long time…..
May 14, 2012
Bayit Vegan, Yerushalayim
I threw my bag onto the floor as I rushed into my house. My salty tears were pouring down my face and I could not suppress my anger for another second. I slammed the door behind me, and felt good about hearing the big boom that followed.
“Meira?” I heard Ruchi call from the kitchen. “Is that you?”
“Does it matter? It’s not like you care EITHER!” I shouted. It felt good to shout. I had this energy pulsing within me and I wanted to shout more.
Ruchi rushed into the living room while wiping her hands on her apron. She took one look at me and said “Meira, you need to calm down….” She bit her lip. “What happened this time?” She asked quietly. She looked down, scared to see the feelings that would be on my face.
I pushed her aside. I walked straight into the kitchen, not looking back and sat down on the stool next to the island.
Ruchi followed and quietly began to make me something to eat.
“You can’t talk, you…you are going to get married soon…You don’t have MY life!!! You don’t have to deal with this for…I dunno how long!!” I said. Fresh tears poured out of my eyes.
She handed me something to eat, I barely paid attention to what it was.
“Meira…it’s not that bad” She said. “I did it, so can you!”
“No, I can’t. You were perfect, you got the grades they wanted…me, I’m pretty, popular. But, I am no where near perfect, and I. WILL. NEVER. BE. They won’t understand that!!!! Neither will you!!!” I pushed away the plate of food, not hungry.
Fresh tears began coming out.
“Meira” Ruchi began
“Save it, they’ll just continue…do you know how hard it was to explain my black eye and bruises to people at school? It was a final….and I failed it…they’ve never beaten any of us this bad before!!! I’m going to just leave, and I think it’s the right thing to do.” I said.
I jumped off the chair and ran upstairs, I found a bookbag and a small suitcase and dragged it into my room.
At least only Ruchi and the baby were home…I guess everyone else went on some shopping spree. I began stuffing things into the bag, all the while crying. Clothes, boots, a few pictures, camera, my ipod, charger. I had no idea where I would go or what I would do with my life out alone at the young age of sixteen but too bad, anything was better than…this.
I just couldn’t do this anymore.
When my bags were full, I took the note I had written once, the note I had written for this time that I knew would come, took it out of it’s hiding spot, and left it on my bed.
I sat on my bed, looking around, because I knew I’d never come back, EVER.
I wanted to remember this place, no matter how horrible some of the memories were, I had grown up here. I wondered what was the point, The point of being created. If there was a G-d in this world, I had no idea where he was. He certainly wasn’t here, and didn’t care…just like everyone else.
Suddenly the baby walked ran in to my room.
“Meiwa, you want to play with me?” Well, she wasn’t the baby anymore, she was two, but the youngest of our 11 kids.
I scooped up my dark skinned sister and gave her a huge hug.I began to quiver and shake, then cry. I pushed away her black long hair and gave her a kiss on the forehead.
‘She won’t even remember me!’ I realized with a start. My sweet baby sister, laughing and giggling…she won’t even know who I am…
She looked up at me as I tickled her.on her tummy.
“Why you cry?” She asked, her brown innocent eyes staring into mine.
“Because I love you, and I always will” I managed to say between my tears. I gave her another hug and let her down. I zippered my bags all to the stare of her looking at me and hauled them down the stairs.
Ruchi stared at me in the hallway as I wheeled my suitcase from the staircase to the front door.
“You can’t go….you will come back” said Ruchi shaking her head. “I thought of it so many times, it won’t work. You’ll be back!”
“Really? Don’t believe me? I won’t…I won’t come back, EVER!” I said.
And I left.
October 26, 2026
ST shocked herself. She told herself she would never revisit that day again.
It was too many memories and feelings….
And it was the past. She was no longer Jewish anyway.