Growing Super: Chapter 20

Jack lay in a crater of his own making, his body smoking slightly from the shock. His right hand was charred, but the quick healing the speedster gave him was showing, as the blackened skin fell of and new skin appeared underneath. Groaning, he sat up and looked around for the villain that sent him flying.

“You dead?” He saw a blurry figure yell, their body slowly coming into focus. “Or do I have to come over there and finish it?”

“Crap,” Jack muttered under his breath as he scrambled to his feet. The villain was casually walking over to him, but Jack had no intention of letting her get to him. Picking up a baseball sized piece of concrete from the street, he whipped it at her. It hurtled towards her at an insane speed, but flew right past her.

She jumped in surprise when she heard the crack of the projectile landing behind her, the shrapnel pelting her as it broke on impact.

“Did you throw something at me?” She asked, like she was talking to a child. “That’s not very nice!”

She grabbed an object off of her belt and looked at it curiously. “Now I have to throw something at you.” She clicked a button on it and threw it to Jack. It landed right at his feet, and when he saw the flashing light, he knew what it was: a grenade.

Picking it up, he speed towards the villainess that threw it at him and dropped it right at her feet, not slowing down a bit. A couple of seconds later, he felt the heat of the explosion on his back, the force of it sending him into the air for a few seconds.

Max and Amya were finishing tying up the villains they had taken down, stopping when they saw Jack approaching them.

“What was that explosion?” Max asked, looking at where Jack had been fighting.

“I had a little trouble with a grenade.”

He let out a low whistle. “Damn! Why do you get all the fun stuff?”

“I believe that we must interrupt this to search for the remaining villains,” Anya spoke up. “We only have eleven minutes until time runs out.”

As if on cue, their earpieces crackled with a voice.

“You’ve scared off some of the villains, but there is still three more. My sensors show that they are about a mile west of you. Track them down and then go after Vesuvius.”

“West…” Jack pondered. “That’s… that way?”

He pointed down the street, only to have Anya push his arm the opposite direction.

“Close,” She smiled.

“Race you there!” Jack yelled behind him, as he sprinted away, his super speed leaving his friends in the dust.  He  managed to get there first, but Max and Anya flew in behind him right after. Well, Max jumped in, his super strength letting him jump hundreds of feet with ease.

A muscle bound man with a scar covering half of his face stepped out of a house, holding a sword in one hand and a light machine gun in the other. A sleek black humanoid robot walked out after him, seemingly unarmed. The man didn’t seem to notice them, but his robot companion turned in their direction and let out a shout.

“Intruder!” Its robotic voice yelled, taking to the sky and firing shots from lasers on its arms. All of them missed, but only because they all headed towards Anya, who had swiftly dodged and flew after him.

“I got this one,” She told them, hovering in the air for a bit. “Go get Big and Ugly.”

When she shot back towards the robot, Max turned to Jack.

“Don’t worry, I got this -” He was interrupted when a large, lizard like thing tackled him, sending them both flying across the street.

Seeing that all villains were accounted for, Jack turned towards Scarface.

Scarface let out a roar and charged, his sword out to the side and his gun up to the front, spraying bullets at Jack. He kicked in his supersede, and the world around him seemed to slow down. The man was faster than Jack had given him credit for, as he was still making steady progress towards him. He stepped out of the path of the bullets and towards Scarface, preparing to punch him as hard as he could.

But Scarface beat him to it, swinging his sword at Jack’s knees. He followed the path the sword would have taken, staying just ahead of it and found himself behind Scarface. Jack peppered the soft part under the ribs with punches and then stepped back, tripping over a baseball bat.

“Batters up!” He yelled,  picking up the bat and swinging it as hard as he could into the villains face, sending him flying backwards ten yards. Scarface groaned and slumped down to the ground, where he stayed.

The bat clattered to the ground, and Jack walked over to his friends, where they were talking to a stocky man kneeling on the ground.

“… under the statue in the center of the square. Watch out though,” the man warned. “He will be there guarding his bomb up until the very last second.”

Handing Anya the paper he had laid out on the ground, he hurried away, the earth moving him much like a conveyor belt would.

“Awesome!” Max yelled. “Now we get to defuse a bomb!”

“We’ve only got seven minutes left,” Anya told them, checking her watch. “We’ll need to move quickly. The square is right down this road-” She pointed towards one of the larger roads. “- and we’ll have to beat the villain.”

“I wonder why he never gave us his name?” Max wondered aloud.

A cloaked figure slowly descended from the sky and landed on the road Anya had pointed at, blocking their way. He looked at them for a second before speaking.

“I am Cloaked Dagger, the greatest villain in the world!” He cackled maniacally. “Leave now, or face my wrath!”

“Very original, isn’t he?” Jack whispered to Max, who snorted at the comment.

“Are you ready?” Anya asked, looking at them. They nodded simultaneously and she grinned back at them. “Good. Then let’s go kick some butt.”

Growing Super: Chapter 19
Growing Super: Chapter 21

A rookie writer, so please tell me if you like or dislike it. Anything to help me become a better writer is appreciated.

Posted in Growing Super
4 comments on “Growing Super: Chapter 20
  1. growingsuper says:

    My home internet when all screwy on me, so I had to do this elsewhere, of which I didn’t have much time to work on it until today. So… Hope you like it as I start to finish up the NeurImmersion segment.

    Side note: it’s really weird trying to swear in a kid friendly way ish sort of thing, when I’m used to full on just using every thing in my vocabulary. It just doesn’t sound right.

  2. Tucson Jerry says:

    The language wasn’t even noticeable to me. I can see how you could spend weeks going through this hero training tool. I’ll be glad when it’s over though. I am curious how everyone is going to react to the school skipping. No way this escaped Mr. Galloway’s attention.

  3. Ereshkigal says:

    A few points on the serial as a whole;

    1) The main issue I see is show vs tell. Less so on the latter chapters but still present. This comes in two versions. The one where you write about something the main character does, then give us more details after the fact is the first. This version of “telling” interrupts the action and kills off suspense as we get to know what happens in advance, so any details that follow aren’t very exciting. The second type of “telling” is when you pause the action to insert explanations or background details. Interrupting the action again kills off suspense and the extra details aren’t always helpful.
    My suggestion for resolving both versions of “telling” would be to only give timely, relevant info. Give us the details on a situation as part of the action before we know the results. And also don’t hesitate to leave your readers guessing instead of explaining everything; readers enjoy trying to guess the plot and solving mysteries so give them just enough info to keep them going.

    2) About your character’s powers, here are some points to consider about his future development;
    *How much better should he be than a non-powered inventor? In the design and creation process, how much does he have to consciously think to design and act to build something? Even a typical household appliance has hundreds to thousands of components working together. Normal inventors need years to build a complex invention. If he only needs to think and act about a second to finish each component, he’d need a minute for a mechanical clock or automatic gun, 10-20 minutes for a household appliance, 2 hours for something as complex as an average car, 2 months for something as complex as a jumbo jet. And does his power get better as his knowledge of technology increases or is that irrelevant? (seeing as he made a portal device with no scientific knowledge of portals…)
    *How strong is he? The first time he discovers his strength, he lifts a metal cube 2 feet across. That would weigh over 2 tons even if made of iron and up to 6 tons if made of tungsten. That’s several times heavier than a car already and his strength would presumably be growing down the line. If his toughness follows his strength he should be tough enough to ignore handgun bullets, knives and grenades, while a battleaxe to the face, being run over by a car or someone shooting him with an assault rifle would only do light wounds.
    *Are his powers connected? His flying, strength and moving/shaping machine parts are all essentially moving things in the end.

  4. growingsuper says:

    First off: first time writing anything, really, so the “telling” might still be present, but I try to show whenever I can, and I will continually be working on it until future posts don’t have any “telling”.
    I’ll try to answer some of your questions:
    1. I would say that he is a lot better than normal inventors because he has… his power is what knows how to make the things, it’s just him that thinks he knows what he’s doing. As he learns more, it’ll become more him and less of his powers. They’ll only work on things he doesn’t understand, so as he gets older, it’ll get much crazier. And I mean like thirties-fourties older.
    2. I would say he is on the very weak end of tanks, and he can still get hurt, because his skin isn’t super strong. Well, I actually haven’t given it much thought, but that’s how I imagined it.
    3. I didn’t even see the connection until you brought it up. I don’t think it really matters, but if it does, I think that it would be a specialized form of telekinesis. Yeah, that makes more sense for what I was thinking of, because I never envisioned him with the super toughness of a tank, so it would work.

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